Thirteen Year Old Boy Fakes Own Kidnapping

Updated: 9:07 pm PT

LOMPOC, CA – A thirteen-year-old boy’s elaborate scheme to fake his own kidnapping fell to pieces when local authorities received an anonymous tip leading to his discovery. It seems the boy had been hiding in a friend’s house for some time.


The youth had disappeared a couple of months ago, but local authorities only found out about the incident when neighbors alerted them of the boy’s disappearance. It seems the parents of the boy had been receiving crude ransom letters since mid February, but had failed to respond.

The letters continually demanded that the parents give cash payment of $1 million or else they wouldn’t see their child again. In an ironic twist, the parents seemed content with the idea of him being gone, so they just decided not to answer the letters.

The couple’s legal team explained that the boy had become absolutely unbearable as a teenager. The parents were just tired of listening to him complain about how much his life sucked, and how much he hated his family, and how much school sucked, and blah, blah, blah. This was a youth that was living a privileged upbringing but yet still could not be a decent human being around his family, and when Mr. & Mrs. Huckthorn were given a chance to get him out of the house, they took it. After all, the ransom letters never said that the would-be kidnappers intended to hurt the boy, just that they wouldn’t let the Huckthorn’s have him back.

Lawyers for the boy said they he will seek legal emancipation from Mr. & Mrs. Huckthorn. The case is expected to pass through without a problem given the unusual behavior of his parents. The parents will reportedly put up no defense in the case and stated that they are unwilling to negotiate unless the boy, changes his attitude.

The neighbors had suspected the couple of foul play, as they could sense the increasing level of frustration with the boy prior to his mysterious departure. Next-door neighbor Jim Boscotelli said, “At first we thought he was at summer camp or something and we were loving it. We went a whole two weeks without having to hear his loud shitty music; the little punk was always wearing those black shirts that said limp bread or something. Well, after a while, we started to wonder what really happened and called the local police.”

Only after police questioned the boy’s parents about the disappearance did they learn of the kidnapping scheme. The couple had accumulated stacks of letters that were turned over to authorities to assist in the investigation. Within a day of running ads in the local media in an effort to locate the boy, the boy’s friend called the kidnapping hotline in expectation of a reward. Unfortunately, since the parents never really wanted the child back, there was never a reward offered.