Fox's "The Simple Life" causes sudden reversal in Republican position on The Death Tax

Updated: 10:39 am PT April 16, 2005

WASHINGTON - In what some observers are calling the biggest opinion shift in the history of politics, Republican Leaders have announced that they will seek an immediate 400% increase in the estate tax.

When asked what spurred this sudden change of heart, Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist said, "Now you know that I am a very family oriented man. Well, on Wednesday night, my family and I sat down to watch TV together. Someone must have been watching Fox the last time the television was on because that was the first channel that came up. Fox was playing this show called "The Simple Life." Normally I wouldn't watch such a morally repugnant show, but as I said, this was on when I powered up the set, so it's not my fault."

Frist continued, "This show definitely made me reconsider my position on estate taxes. I've always felt that my children should receive the fruits of my labor when that unfortunate moment comes. I mean, I've had to spend my entire life making back room deals with special interest groups, all the while sucking the proverbial teet of big business. I don't want my children forced to live like that; who would?"

When asked why a television show would make him flip-flop on his position, Frist replied, "Well, as I sat there watching this show, with an acute sense of moral outrage I might add, I realized that the reason Paris Hilton is able to exist is that her grand daddy made a bunch of money, then gave it to her daddy, who made even more money with it, and now her daddy is giving it to her to well, pardon my language, but to be a painted up whore. If Paris Hilton is what inherited wealth creates, then for the good of the nation, we must put an immediate end to estate transfers."

In a surprising show of unity, the Democratic Party has announced that they will support legislation to increase the estate tax and thus eliminate inherited wealth. When asked for comment, Democratic figurehead Bill Clinton responded, "I've worked my entire life to make sure that Chelsea would be able to enjoy the finer things. Seriously, you think I would sleep with that Ice-Queen Hillary for the fun of it? I mean, she drove me to bang a fat chick for Christ's sake. Now, that's neither here nor there, but the point is that I don't want my darling Chelsea turning into a half dressed skank with the IQ of a chair. I've alerted the secret service to keep a lookout for bad clothes and hair bleach, and I am proud to say that so far our house is secure. It is time for our elected officials to work together on a bipartisan effort to eliminate the threat to our liberty that people like Paris Hilton represent."