United States Government Accused of Ties to Saddam’s Regime

Updated 5:02 p.m. PT May 17, 2005

WASHINGTON – In response to repeated probes by the Bush Administration into Foreign Government’s ties to the Hussein Regime, new allegations have been launched that illustrate strategic ties between the United States Government and Saddam.


The Bush Administration has frequently criticized foreign governments like France and Russia for having business dealings with Iraq prior to the second US invasion.

In a shocking twist of fate, Russian leaders pointed out the hypocrisy of the situation by releasing evidence that the United States Government had supported Hussein long before the Soviets took interest. In the Iran-Iraq war of the eighties, The United States backed Saddam, giving him military and economic aid.

It was only after The United States decided Saddam was a bad guy because he was trying to take over the Bush Family oil wells in Kuwait that the Soviets decided to have dealings with Iraq. President Putin explained, “This was in a time when USSR and US were deeply locked in the battle of the great cold war. We would have aligned with anyone if it helped to piss off the Americans. For instance, we helped out North Korea to stick it to you guys. Granted, that one has come back to bite us all in the ass, but in the beginning our support was out of spite, I assure you.”

The United States is being blamed for facilitating the business dealings between Iraq and Russia by providing moral justification for the Ruskies to build in Iraq. It seems the logic is that if the US had never had a relationship with Iraq to begin with, the Russians wouldn’t have tried to facilitate their own dealings with Saddam to screw the US, thus the US is to blame for starting the whole spiral.

In a press release regarding the incident, President Bush muttered something about terrorists, gay-marriage, and social security reform.